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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

So, I made it through year one. It was almost a relief once I got to Sunday.  The anticipation was a kicker. In some ways I do feel like, "okay, moving on now" Like I have permission to keep going like that first year is some magic number and I made it through. So, now what? I guess we'll see. I did one thing that is a baby step - I put away my wedding ring and I'm wearing the claddagh ring Andy used to propose. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I took my ring out of the cleaner last night before I put it away with Andy's ring and I did feel sad. This chapter of my life. I can't believe it's over. My ring looked so shiny, like it did when we got married. So very, very sad. You know, it feels like the bottom drops out of my insides and I take a deep breath and I don't fill up. That's what it will be. This sadness, and I still keep moving. One year ago Monday was the most surreal day of my life (Andy died late the night before) and to think of all that has happened this year. Crazy. I am grateful for all the love and support we have gotten. I have certainly realized how important it is to let people know I am thinking of them, praying for them.  The cards and notes I got helped me immeasurably.  This is one lesson I learned and I am grateful for it how important it is to let people know you are thinking of them.  To reach out an encourage others.  To try to give people a little hope when perhaps they are struggling with despair.  I read a quote today that said, "if hope and despair were two paths to the same destination, which would you rather travel?"  I choose hope. 

1 comment:

  1. love you susan! so glad you are blogging--this way i'll get to read more than just your christmas card--which i love:)

    keep it up!!
    :)
    xoxo

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